Clearly I am a master of Microsoft Paint.
So, on Friday the trailer for Charlie St. Cloud, my husband Zac Efron’s first big dramatic role, was released.
Now, I know that I have a serious bias, but I really want to see it. I know that there is some serious cheese in this movie, but… c’mon. Zac Efron. I’m pretty curious to see what he can do when the role entails more than being charming. And it doesn’t look too terrible! Even the LA Times says so!
Now, it being the first dramatic role of a teen idol, Charlie St. Cloud has drawn some early comparison with another similar vehicle, Robert Pattinson’s movie Remember Me that was released earlier this year. Now, as I said before, I am biased, but I honestly think that it would be hard for Charlie St. Cloud to suck as much as the cinematic turd that was Remember Me.
That movie was freaking intolerable. But what can you really expect from a movie whose trailer includes the following exchange:
“I don’t date sociology majors.”
“Lucky for you I’m undecided.”
“About what?” [side note: you would never ask that question as a follow-up to someone telling you that they haven't picked a major yet, so it's a pretty bad set-up for...]
“EVERYTHING.” [OH GOD]
I went to see it with some friends of mine, and I was so boooooored. It felt interminable. It’s a story about two really irritating people who fall in love. Emilie de Ravin’s character is supposed to be quirky but it’s so forced (like, she always eats desert before dinner because what if she dies while she’s eating dinner and she never gets to eat desert again? Well, she’d be dead, so she probably wouldn’t care). And Robert Pattinson’s character. Don’t even get me started. He was just a whiny asshole. I believe that I was supposed to sympathize with the two of them, but I didn’t at all. Which I guess accounts for my boredom, since I didn’t really care what happened to them either way. And then there was that horrible exploitative ending (read it here; spoilers obviously).
Robert Pattinson is also just not that good of an actor. Looking dazed or constipated does not count as emoting. If Twihards are really going to make this Robert Pattinson thing happen, he should at least take an acting class.
TEAM ZEFRON!
Nah. Zefron disgust aside, this looks pretty fucking awful. Not even necessarily his fault.
Except for the part where he creepily sniffs the girl’s hair. Probably trying to figure out what product she uses. GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Whatever. As far as trashy tearjerkers this seems like it will err more on the side of “A Walk to Remember”/”The Notebook” than “Nights in Rodanthe”/”Dear John”/”The Last Song”/any Nicholas Sparks book that has been made in to a movie that wasn’t “A Walk to Remember” or “The Notebook”.
And even those were pretty retarded, but so gripping for some reason.