Contest!

If you can guess fifteen of the 800 reasons that this is better than Twilight, you’ll win a prize. These. They’ll come in handy as an example when writing your senior thesis: “How Extinction Could Benefit the Human Race.”

An example of a reason would be something like… Unlike the actual move, this is intentionally absurd.

This weekend, zombies invent lies about capitalism.

Pictured: NOT Martin Starr

This weekend offers some very promising picks. And if none of those appeal to you, there is a very special rerelease of an old favorite to check out. Hopefully you have better luck deciding which movie you want to see than I did trying to find a picture of Martin Starr in The Invention of Lying. The list of this weekend’s opening movies, plus today’s WTF news, after the jump.

Sign #4584560984687546 that society is crumbling.

Zombie apocalypse, next move is yours.

I will let a sentence from this Variety article communicate the horror on its own:

It amounts to a teaming between the exec producers of “Twilight” and one of the leading lights of youth-geared reality shows.

I believe you are all familiar with my opinion of Twilight (see here if you need a refresher), so the fact that the producers of that are at it again is discouraging enough, without the added poison of anything having to do with reality television. But the particular reality show that they have chosen to run with makes it EVEN WORSE.

Oh, CORBIN.

On my walk to class this morning, I walked past a movie theater, and whose smiling face was looking at my from the window? Corbin “Chad” Bleu, erstwhile star of the High School Musical series. It is because of the wonderful cheese of these movies that I feel for Corbin Bleu, and wish him only the best. Unfortunately, Corbin was looking out at me from the poster for his latest movie Free Style. And it does not look good. Even the poster indicates that this movie will be included in the $5.00 DVD sales at Target in about two months (although, given the fact that I bought Milo and Otis, only the best movie of all time, at Target for $5.00, that might not be so bad). I mean, just look at it.

Well, well.

Why has it been so long since I’ve updated? If I told you, I would have to kill you. Oh, alright, I’ll tell you the real reason: I just wanted you all to read that entry about Judd Apatow and Funny People, so I left it as the top post for two months. A calculated risk, which clearly failed, as Funny People didn’t do so hot at the box office. Idiots.

I have chosen a particularly bad time to resuscitate the ol’ blog, as I’m typing this out at work, with only twenty minutes left on the clock, and I have no intention of working on it later on. I just wanted to post something to let everyone know that I will be back to blogging normally VERY soon. Maybe even tomorrow… if you’re lucky.

Now, just so that there’s something movie-related in this post, I leave you with 2 things.

1) the dictum that you see The Informant this weekend, and support my other husband, Joel McHale. Polyandry, ftw.

2) this trailer for Did You Hear About the Morgans?, only for you to feel the pain I experienced watching it in the theater. If every joke falls flat in a three minute trailer, can you imagine how excruciating it is to watch the whole thing? Ouch.

I love you, Judd Apatow.

Not featured: our sex tape.

We are now back to regular programming here at For Your Consideration. I do apologize for the hiatus. I went through an exceptionally lazy period, but some of Bravo’s evening programming has thrown me back into the blogging game. I hope that you find this to be good news. And I ask you to pardon my last post, as I wrote it while at the point of tiredness when coherency is simply unachievable.

My very first entry on this blog ended with some TV spots for Funny People, Judd Apatow’s third go as writer/director of a feature. The movie comes out this Friday, and given that a lot of the marketing for the film has hyped the fact that Apatow himself (or Judd muffin, as I like to call him) controlled a lot of the creative aspects of the film, he has been doing a lot of promotional work. Part of this promo tour was his stop on Inside the Actor’s Studio tonight. And, let me tell you, it was glorious.

I am in my happy place

Alex Stark: Photoshop wizard; pervert.

Today is a good day. First, today is my father’s birthday, and who doesn’t love a day when one can celebrate Jerry Baker. As his last birthday occasioned the now famous “refrigerator incident”, I have high hopes that once again epic things will happen. Although, nothing short of getting stuck behind appliances can top the way my day began: at a 12:01 screening of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. You may recall from last week that I was very excited for this movie, and I was not disappointed. Another eagerly anticipated movie I had the chance to see  and enjoy was 500 Days of Summer, which opens this Friday. My thoughts on both of these pieces of wonder behind the cut.

This weekend, gay Austrians will enter amateur porn contests

So, has anybody heard of this Bruno character?

Sorry for my recent blog slacking. I always mean to put up the weekend opening post on Thursday, but of late I have dropped the ball. I’ll try to step up my game next week.

It almost seems pointless to put this post up, however, as there is one movie that will almost certainly dominate the box office this weekend. That movie, plus it’s poor, sad competition,  behind the cut.

One week.

It's really better if you don't ask.

At this very moment, I am wearing a Harry Potter shirt. I am reading the 6th Harry Potter book. There are Harry Potter sheets on my bed. Almost an entire shelf of my bookcase is dedicated to Harry Potter and supplementary books (Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Quidditch Through the Ages, & cetera). I own a Sorting Hat (see above). If none of these things have clued you in to the point of this post, let me spell it out for you: I am very exicted that Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince opens in a week.

This weekend, Amurrrica is 233

Just my summer house, it's no big deal.

Happy 4th of July, everybody! I apologize for the delay on your weekend movies post. I planned on writing it yesterday, but I was roped into going to visit Kykuit, the Rockefeller Estate in Sleepy Hollow. It was really nice, but prevented me from doing anything I needed to do. So, without further delay, your weekend movies + some more news about the new and improved Oscars: